Nigeria has been embroiled in a maze of confusion, outrage and bewilderment over the fate of the 13 year old Bayelsa girl (17 according to the girl herself) who was taken to Kano by her supposed lover, Yinusa a.k.a Yellow for several months now. The challenge for me in this story is how this story stayed away from the public glare for so long thereby allowing the issue to fester .
justifiably, the development has generated a lot of public outrage, sentiment and outright condemnation from some well-meaning Nigerians who could not understand why a young lady would be whisked away by her supposed lover to an unknown destination to be married off and converted to Islam. Expectedly, a lot of ethno-religious sentiments have been ventilated by the activists in the whole saga with certain people suggesting that she had been forcefully conscripted into Islam and hoodwinked to marry her captor. However, before we allow emotions becloud our judgment, certain facts are incontrovertible. First of all, Yinusa was known all along to Ese's parents. The extent of their knowledge of the depth & nature of her relationship with Yinusa is however, unclear. If this is indeed the case, then doesnt it go without saying that some form of parental laxity is also at play here?.
Certainly, the teenage years of a child especially the girl-child are the formative years and most important because that is the period when she gets all sorts of anatomical/physiognomical changes which escalates into her psycho-social relationships and ultimately her sex life. It is incontrovertible that well meaning parents are expected to be stricter and more conservative with theiir female children at this point. If Yinusa was known to Ese's parents all along, and he has developed some sort of familiarity with her parents, then, the parents must have been aware of his liaison with their daughter. If the ethno-religious fears we are now hearing being expressed by the parents was ab initio, a factor for consideration, then it goes without saying that they could have kicked against the relationship from the outset and avoided this situation. Certainly, the fact of their daughter's friendship with the 'stranger" was not lost on the parents. Every discerning parent especially the mother should be able to know when her ward is straying more so, when a 'stranger' like we are made to believe here is involved.
Secondly, although i dont have any working statistics on this assertion, but experience has shown that teenagers from the South South region become sexually active at a very young age. The adverse environmental factors of poverty and squalor especially in the river-rine areas subject them to all sorts of dangerous exposures. The incidence of vices like abortion, teenage pregnancy and sundry sexual activities expose the youths in general to serious moral decadence. The incidence of dropping out of school and living apart from the parents ultimately increase the already widening gap in relationship between parents and children. The squalid conditions of the environment frustrate the children even as young as Ese to seek pastures anew even if it means running away from the deplorable conditions at home to mingle with friends who can make it happen for them .
This article is by no means trying to justify what has happened to Ese but it is correct if we put things in perspective. And so, in the scenario painted above, what if the couple had actually been in some romantic relationship to the knowledge of the parents who were not vociferous enough to stop them before things escalated?. Girls of Ese's age whether she is 13, 14 or 17 have today become vulnerable to the deleterious effects of the use of social media and would have arguably filled in the gaps in her little knowledge regarding human sexuality and development. Watching a video of the young lady in question where she firmly insisted she is 17 and not 13 as claimed by her parents filled me with little doubt that this might just be a case of teenage love affair and nothing more.
A whole weather has been made of the Emir's role in the whole saga who has come under fire for not acceeding to her parents' request for the repatriation of their daughter by the Kano Emirates Council. While i have no doubt that the Emirate has been tardy in heeding to this whole request, can we all really claim that it has been wholly complicit in the matter?. I doubt that. Given the adventurous nature of youths of today as well as the fact that the parents were not vociferous in condemning the conduct of the duo when they started their liaison, it stands to reason that Yinusa may have innocuously contrived to elope with his lover to his state to get their wish. i cannot however defend the forceful conscription into Islam. But if Ese is indeed 17 and a marriage rite actually took place whether under islam or otherwise, then it stands to reason that she has also conceded to be guided by her spouse's religion.
One could see the tacit acquiescence from the parents in this whole saga. Not putting the needed reins on your wards has it obvious disadvantages as we have seen because if it is a question of moral upbringing, then Ese's parents have been unwittingly complicit in allowing their daughter elope with her lover. If on the other hand, it is a question of a blossoming love affair between two innocent but misguided teens, the parents would still be complicit because one would be curious as to the moral and educational backgrounds of the girl in question. What was her academic records and were the parents jealously guiding her to achieve her dreams? what are her dreams and how far have the parents helped her to achieve them? posers like these stare me in the face as i try to disentangle this plot. It is no doubt that some parents hardly discuss with their children these days to find out their dreams and aspirations. It does not end with sending her to school. Vigilant and constant supervision of the child's academic progress are non- delegable duties of the parents. It is a fact that many parents dont even demand their children's termly report to know how they fared. They would be content if the child "passed" and got promoted to the next class without a care in the world about her strengths and weaknesses. If Ese's parents had been diligent in their parental duties and ensured her attention was firmly riveted on her studies, may be Yinusa wouldnt have happened because she would be too busy with her studies to notice any erotic manouverings from the young man no matter how surreptitious or blatant.
The allegation of abduction would fail if she willingly and reflectively eloped with her lover more so, the knowledge of the relationship by her parents vitiates this argument because they knew their child's supposed captor and their whereabouts. The girl's insistence that she is 17 and wants to remain with her lover completely weakens the argument further. And if indeed she is 17, wouldnt it amount to a breach of her Fundamental rights to insist that she returns to her parents and denounces islam that she has chosen as her new religion? while we insist she is a minor and cannot lawfully contract a valid marriage, can we also insist on same for her new religion particularly regarding the fact that her parents have not offered anything in proof of the claim that she is 14? wouldnt we as a people be breaching the Fundamental rights of a child who has freely chosen a new religion in the light of the fact that the constitution did not put an age ceiling in the determination of one's religious belief?
The dangers of Islamic fundamentalism are not lost on me with the spate of terrorist attacks all over the globe, but a pains-taking investigation needs to be carried out here to avoid breaching the constitutionally enshrined rights of a young lady on the altar of ethno-religious sentiments.
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